Why I love Vietnam, by Hanoi John
You could say it was inevitable. After years of telling viewers of television consumer shows horror stories about holiday hotels that resembled building sites, my wife Lynn Faulds Wood and I were bound to end up in one ourselves.
The Sofitel Metropole is the finest hotel in Hanoi - with prices to match. Built in 1901, it is a classic example of French colonial chic. Its rooms, bars and restaurants ooze exquisite style and sophistication. Its staff are the most charming we have ever encountered.
Good enough for 007: The limestone islands of Halong
Unfortunately, during our visit, there was in the middle of this architectural classic... a building site, full of men with sledgehammers and, for hours on end, a pneumatic drill.
They worked from eight in the morning until five in the evening right alongside the swimming pool and bar where hotel guests attempted, unsuccessfully, to relax.
The builders also managed to sever a water pipe. We knew this because, as Lynn was exercising in the gym, part of the ceiling collapsed and water gushed through just feet away from her.
No one we met had been warned that this work would be going on before they booked and it stopped only when, after four days, an irate British advertising executive led a peasants' revolt.
To make it worse, some of us spent two days without hot water or air conditioning in our rooms - a sticky, unpleasant experience, especially at night with temperatures still hovering around 30C. It was so reminiscent of the stories we have related on programmes such as Watchdog and GMTV - except that this time we were the victims. At least the hugely apologetic staff did compensate those who complained.
However, as this wasn't a lie-by-the-pool holiday, it didn't ruin the trip. It couldn't because Hanoi, especially the old quarter, is a fascinating, vibrant and friendly place.
Its population live most of their lives on its labyrinthine streets, permeated by the aroma of delicious Vietnamese food. Whole families litter the pavements, sitting on tiny plastic chairs eating lunch or dinner. Hawkers abound, always cheerful but rarely overbearing.
There are riotously colourful streets that sell only balloons, lanterns and paper dragons, another that trades only in shoes, a silver street and a tin street.
British health-and-safety experts would be apoplectic at work practices in the equally colourful food markets but the potential hazards greeting visitors to these are nothing compared with those on Hanoi's roads.
Four million people live here. Two million of them have motorbikes. Some carry children on the handlebars. We saw one with at least 40 caged chickens balanced precariously on the back. Another carried three live pigs.
They stop for no one, not even when you are on a pedestrian crossing. Sky-diving is probably a safer pursuit than crossing the road here.
Across town lies the swish French quarter with its beautiful colonial mansions, impressive museums and squares lined with bougainvillea and colourful summer trees. Then there is the ritzy West Lake surrounded by fancy apartments and yet more restaurants.
And to the west is Hanoi's number one tourist attraction, the ornate Presidential Gardens and Ho Chi Minh's mausoleum.
We went there with our guide, Hong, who charged us £12 a head for a four-hour tour of the city. With a guide, you are allowed to jump the queue to visit Ho Chi Minh's tomb - a huge advantage because when we arrived at 8.30am, at least 2,000 people were already waiting. Some had come by coach from Ho Chi Minh City, a journey lasting 32 hours.
All so that, under the watchful eye of ramrod-straight armed guards, they could file two abreast into the vault and spend just 30 seconds viewing the embalmed body of their hero. Alongside the mausoleum stands the splendid old presidential palace itself, built for the governor of Indo China at the turn of the last century and, by way of contrast, the modest wooden house where Ho Chi Minh lived the last ten years of his life.
In the Presidential Gardens you can see Ho Chi Minh's bunker and hear all about his struggle to free his people, first from French colonists and then from what he regarded as the unwarranted intrusion of the Americans.
To make it worse, some of us spent two days without hot water or air conditioning in our rooms - a sticky, unpleasant experience, especially at night with temperatures still hovering around 30C. It was so reminiscent of the stories we have related on programmes such as Watchdog and GMTV - except that this time we were the victims. At least the hugely apologetic staff did compensate those who complained.
Motorcycling Vietnam-style canm be a precarious business
Its population live most of their lives on its labyrinthine streets, permeated by the aroma of delicious Vietnamese food. Whole families litter the pavements, sitting on tiny plastic chairs eating lunch or dinner. Hawkers abound, always cheerful but rarely overbearing.
There are riotously colourful streets that sell only balloons, lanterns and paper dragons, another that trades only in shoes, a silver street and a tin street.
British health-and-safety experts would be apoplectic at work practices in the equally colourful food markets but the potential hazards greeting visitors to these are nothing compared with those on Hanoi's roads.
Four million people live here. Two million of them have motorbikes. Some carry children on the handlebars. We saw one with at least 40 caged chickens balanced precariously on the back. Another carried three live pigs.
They stop for no one, not even when you are on a pedestrian crossing. Sky-diving is probably a safer pursuit than crossing the road here.
Across town lies the swish French quarter with its beautiful colonial mansions, impressive museums and squares lined with bougainvillea and colourful summer trees. Then there is the ritzy West Lake surrounded by fancy apartments and yet more restaurants.
And to the west is Hanoi's number one tourist attraction, the ornate Presidential Gardens and Ho Chi Minh's mausoleum.
John and wife Lynn dodge the din at Hanoi's Presidential Gardens
All so that, under the watchful eye of ramrod-straight armed guards, they could file two abreast into the vault and spend just 30 seconds viewing the embalmed body of their hero. Alongside the mausoleum stands the splendid old presidential palace itself, built for the governor of Indo China at the turn of the last century and, by way of contrast, the modest wooden house where Ho Chi Minh lived the last ten years of his life.
In the Presidential Gardens you can see Ho Chi Minh's bunker and hear all about his struggle to free his people, first from French colonists and then from what he regarded as the unwarranted intrusion of the Americans.
Just across the road is a horrific reminder of that war's legacy - a workshop employing the victims of Agent Orange. Not those first affected by the deadly herbicide that was sprayed across the countryside to defoliate the jungle and deny Vietcong guerrillas cover. No, these are their children, born long after the war ended, who were also disfigured and disabled by the dioxin contained in Agent Orange.
Many American service personnel and their families were similarly affected, and across town there is another grisly reminder of that conflict: what remains of Hao Lo Prison, or the 'Hanoi Hilton' - the jail where American airmen shot down over the city were held and tortured.
Among them was Republican presidential candidate John McCain. Sepia photos on the wall show McCain and his colleagues laughing, playing handball and decorating a Christmas tree. The text below makes no mention of the brutality that some of them - including McCain - suffered.
But that was the Vietnam of yesteryear. Today, it is difficult to believe this is a communist country. Communist with capitalist pretensions, more like.
Nowhere is that more evident than at Halong Bay, a newly created resort with modern hotels and a Florida-like seafront, three hours' drive north-east of Hanoi. But the real joy of Halong is out at sea, where in beautifully furnished junks such as the Halong Jasmine you can spend a day and a night sailing around more than 3,000 limestone islands, some hollow with enormous caves.
This was where bests Scaramanga in The Man with the Golden Gun. A world heritage site, it is a never-to-be-forgotten experience.
As was our visit to Tam Coc, where you can take a two-hour boat journey down the Ngo Dong River. Tam Coc is known as the inland Halong Bay because huge rock formations jump out of the rice paddies you pass as your boat is navigated by men - and women - rowing with their feet.
It's also worth going to Vietnam just for the food. Hanoi's most famous restaurant is Bobby Chinn's. Bobby is the Gordon Ramsay of Vietnam. He has his own American TV show, cooking what he describes as a fusion of Californian, Asian and European dishes. We loved it.
But no more than the truly Vietnamese dishes we ate at places such as 69 in the old quarter, where they serve cha ca - a fish cooked at your table on hot coals and served with noodles, dill and peanuts.
Or the curries we sampled at Tandoor run by Mac Sanghvi, an enterprising Indian who commutes between Hanoi and a village in Lincolnshire.
Like most eateries in the old quarter, meals here cost only £5 or £6 a head for two courses including drinks - a fraction of those at Bobby Chinn's.
Our only regret was that we couldn't see more of this fabulous country. We would go back tomorrow if we could. And, yes, we would stay at the Metropole - assuming the building work had finished.
Travel facts
Trailfinders (0845 050 5892, www.trailfinders.com) arranges tailor-made holidays to Vietnam. Return flights from Heathrow to Hanoi with Thai Airways cost from £725.
Rooms at the Sofitel Metropole cost from £187 per night. Operators offering Vietnam tours include Bales Worldwide (08456 345 121, www.balesworldwide.com) and Kuoni (01306 740500, www.kuoni.co.uk)
Many American service personnel and their families were similarly affected, and across town there is another grisly reminder of that conflict: what remains of Hao Lo Prison, or the 'Hanoi Hilton' - the jail where American airmen shot down over the city were held and tortured.
Among them was Republican presidential candidate John McCain. Sepia photos on the wall show McCain and his colleagues laughing, playing handball and decorating a Christmas tree. The text below makes no mention of the brutality that some of them - including McCain - suffered.
But that was the Vietnam of yesteryear. Today, it is difficult to believe this is a communist country. Communist with capitalist pretensions, more like.
Nowhere is that more evident than at Halong Bay, a newly created resort with modern hotels and a Florida-like seafront, three hours' drive north-east of Hanoi. But the real joy of Halong is out at sea, where in beautifully furnished junks such as the Halong Jasmine you can spend a day and a night sailing around more than 3,000 limestone islands, some hollow with enormous caves.
This was where bests Scaramanga in The Man with the Golden Gun. A world heritage site, it is a never-to-be-forgotten experience.
As was our visit to Tam Coc, where you can take a two-hour boat journey down the Ngo Dong River. Tam Coc is known as the inland Halong Bay because huge rock formations jump out of the rice paddies you pass as your boat is navigated by men - and women - rowing with their feet.
It's also worth going to Vietnam just for the food. Hanoi's most famous restaurant is Bobby Chinn's. Bobby is the Gordon Ramsay of Vietnam. He has his own American TV show, cooking what he describes as a fusion of Californian, Asian and European dishes. We loved it.
Hanoi treats: A tasty-looking dish of local fish delicacy cha ca
Or the curries we sampled at Tandoor run by Mac Sanghvi, an enterprising Indian who commutes between Hanoi and a village in Lincolnshire.
Like most eateries in the old quarter, meals here cost only £5 or £6 a head for two courses including drinks - a fraction of those at Bobby Chinn's.
Our only regret was that we couldn't see more of this fabulous country. We would go back tomorrow if we could. And, yes, we would stay at the Metropole - assuming the building work had finished.
Travel facts
Trailfinders (0845 050 5892, www.trailfinders.com) arranges tailor-made holidays to Vietnam. Return flights from Heathrow to Hanoi with Thai Airways cost from £725.
Rooms at the Sofitel Metropole cost from £187 per night. Operators offering Vietnam tours include Bales Worldwide (08456 345 121, www.balesworldwide.com) and Kuoni (01306 740500, www.kuoni.co.uk)
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Vietnam Travel Guide Book
Welcome to a world where the colours are more vivid, where the landscapes are bolder, the coastline more dramatic, where the history is more compelling, where the tastes are more divine, where life is lived in the fast lane. This world is Vietnam, the latest Asian dragon to awake from its slumber.
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